Shuffling off to Buffalo *shuffle, shuffle, shuffle*

Last week, I shuffled desperately off to Buffalo! As I have had to do in previous years, I went to renew some papers I need for my status in Canada. So this is how it went:

I sprung out of bed at 2:00AM Tuesday morning!!! I did a quick shimmy in the glee of knowing that I was about to get on a plane going somewhere, and then, a jump-split to express same said glee! Now let me pause here in mid-split for a second and explain to clear up your confusion. I am in Toronto. I am going to Buffalo...YES, BY PLANE!!! Buffalo is only about two hours drive from where I live. I am sure this is not making any sense to you who are reading this. But I will continue with the story...

After landing from my aerial split, I ran to the bathroom to moisturize and to brush my teeth. In no time flat I was ready and raring to go...and I am smelling a pineapple upside down cake right now as I sit here and type this *drool* Mmmmmm....CAAAAAKE! But I digress. The phone rang. It was my ride to the airport. I lept from my milk and dashed like a pig to a truffle to the door and in to the vehicle, scaring the driver half to death. Poor guy. I gave him a good tip though.

After checking in, I went through US immigration. The officer asked me where I was flying to and I told him Buffalo. He gave me the same look of constipation that you are giving as you are reading this. He then asked me why would I not just drive or take the bus. I told him that the last time I took the bus there, I determined that I would never do that again! The last time I did that, it took me over four hours to get to my destination, and I felt like I was a sardine desperately packed, in water, in a can! Needless to say I was one hot mess when I got to Buffalo and was determined never to go through that again! Hence, I flew.

After clearing costumes and passing through security, I decided to eat something. Then the next thing was that I was on the plane flying to Chicago, where I connected to another flight to Buffalo. Now here is where the weird things started happening.

I went to check in to my hotel. They could not find my reservation. After about five minutes of finger clicking on their computer terminal, they found it. Apparently, I had put my name in backwards! Silly moi! I got my key and zwiddled desperately (hamhocks-a-blur) to my room. I walked in to the door wide open and a big box on the floor. They had just finished putting in new furniture and were changing the TVs. Then, the air conditioning went kablewey! So I sauntered BACH downstairs and asked to be put into another room. The new room was perfect for me. The air conditioning was working overtime making it cooler than the other rooms, which was just right for me. And then, I found ANOTHER box on that floor. The service people asked if I would permit them to just install the TV and I said yes. Then I called downstairs and asked for NO MAID SERVICE until I check out. I spent the rest of that evening checking over my papers to present to the Consulate, and eating very bad pizza. I do not know what I was thinking!

4:45AM! I am awake! I got dressed and darted out of the hotel so that I could be first in line! And I was! I stood at the Consulate line for almost 3 hours waiting for them to open. I got in first, and was out first! YEAY!!!! That part was over! I went to brunch and then zwiddled desperately about the city until I ran into the side door of my hotel. I got a little carried away.

The highlight of my time there was that I got to see a very dear friend that I went to Houghton with many years ago, who just happened to be IN that part of NY! My good, and fuzzy, and closetted soprano friend Ribena Eggsalad and her best friend (and cohort in crime) Margarita! I Ribena also brought her mom along as well, and it was so good to see them both again after 14 years! We went to dinner and chatted the night away, remembering our lives at Houghton and all the people that have had to go into therapy just for knowing us. Ribena had not changed much. She still refuses to sing soprano (even though I think a good cattle prod will take care of that) and still fighting against wearing high heels. I did manage to get her in piggies for about four seconds though, and she just sat there. Yep! That's Ribena alright. She is one woman that I know would 'clean my clock' really good, even though I do not have any clocks, or watches for that matter that need cleaning. I still don't get that.

We all laughed the night away. Margarita taught me a song about a sadist, which was fun, and Ribena told me a story about how some of her grown-up students (guys) tried to take her down at the end of the term, and failed! Ribena pretty much tossed them around like they were tonka trucks. The end of the evening was sad for me because I do not know when I will see her again. But she made me sing for them in the parking lot, and I seemed to attract the attention of some passersby, and some bees, who thought I looked like a wad of cotton candy! Aftrer saying my goodbyes, they left, and I went to bed.

The lowlight of my stay was just before my friends arrived. I was in my room, typing away at Sheba when I heard my door beep. A maid came pirouetting into my room with her vacuum cleaner!! I had asked for no maid service, but boy did I get it!!! Just a minute before, and she would have caught me in various stages of UNDRESS!!! And then, I would have been responsible for inducing cardiac arrest from indecent pork exposure!!! I made sure the front desk heard about this and that I was not impressed! (*not impressed look*) I am sure she is in a psych ward about now suffering from PTSD (Pork Traumatic Stress Disorder).

Thursday morning and I was again wide awake! I went to the airport, and caught my flight. Everything was on time. My flights all were on time. I even landed in Toronto right on the dot of 6:29PM which was what was printed on my ticket. Just as I thought I was getting off scot free, a thunderstorm came rumbling in just as we landed, and thus, we had to wait inside the plane for 90 minutes before we could disembark! Fortunately I did not check any luggage, so I could proceed to GO without any stops. I got home and felt like I had been run over by a herd of turtles! I am only just now getting their hoof prints out of my face.

So there you have it. My life in three days!

MOI