Just in case you didn't know it...

Here are ten new factoids that will help you to cope when you are experiencing winter in summer, and how to compensate:

1. Take time to get it out of your system. Kick, scream, pluck a chicken, even rip all of your hair out, and then, count to 10

2. Be a maverick! Rock the chartreuse tights!

3. If you are insistent on swimming outdoors, wear a thermal suit

4. Set your oven at 50 degrees Centigrade and climb in. Make sure to turn yourself occasionally

5. Wear pigtails! Doing so will attract warm weather... and pigtail fetishists!

6. If you are going to wear shorts when it is blowing cold outside, don't just complain about it. Whine loudly too!!!!

7. Do Salome's Dance of the Seven Veils outside

8. Eat lots of spicy foods until your eyes run squealing from their sockets

9. Slather yourself with honey. This will attract bees, which will then cause you to run screaming to your mommy. That will indeed get you all hot and sweaty in no time flat!

And, if none of this works:

10. Buy a one-way ticket to the Caribbean!!!!