Confessions of an Entree!

Do not be fooled by the title of this entry! I am NOT giving in to being cooked, or eaten, or in any way prepared for consumption! This entry is entirely devoted to my thoughts about my recent trip to Winnipeg.

It has been a week since I scared the caffeine out of Lulu, who was quite sane and calm before I came shimmying in through the doors of the library. With IV stand in toe, Lulu was getting her daily fix (and to remind you all, these fixes are important to keep her from morphing into the Were-Lulu who eats nymphs and shepherds for brunch!) of hemlock, when, upon the sight of me, proceded to redecorate the walls with a spakling of coffee colour all over the wall. Now one thing I have always loved about my returns to Winnipeg is the wonderful...reception I seem to get from people. Lulu saw me, and her blue peepers bugged wide open! She shrieked out loud, cackled with laughter, ran smack into me, gave me a great big bear hug and then slapped me with a cold trout, deliriously screaming, "HOW THE HECK ARE YA???" (*smack*!) I do not know where the fish came from, but I still have the imprint on my left facial cheek.

The next is when I saw Alvin! I had not seen him in a long time. I had never met his wife before and I was about to get that opportunity. Her name (for this blog) is Coral! And she was at this point, DESPERATELY PREGNANT!!! Now as far as pregnancy goes, there are various stages. There is the stage of not being pregnant, of being slightly pregnant, obviously pregnant, very pregnant, extremely pregnant, and finally, desperately pregnant! She was the very latter of these!!! And my hat is off to her! She was able to be desperately pregnant, and manage two boys, cook dinner, do the laundry with one foot, and answer the mail AND the phone with the other! ALL at the same time!!! Now THAT takes talent! Anywho, I was greeted by Alvin and his two chipmunks rather gleefully the other day, when the two boys saw me, chased after me, and grabbed on to both of my hamhocks and sunk their teeth in! I for a brief moment thought this was a French Canadian greeting I did not know about. Seeing that Frumpyfinns and his brothers are always out to eat me and they are half French Canadian as well, I did not surprise me that much. So I took this as a sign of affection...was I right?

The retreat was interesting to say the least, but it was what happened AFTER the retreat that really took it to that next level! All week long, the house kept hinting at the fact that they had not tasted my skills on the grill. One of them slipped up and said they had not tasted ME on the grill, but I took the time to point out that his Freudian SLIP was showing. Up to this point, the greetings and the requests for attention were at an all time high, much to my glee! But NOTHING prepared me for the thing that Cleopas did that jsut took that over the top! Dressed in tights and his traditional feathered hat, Cleopas, upon seeing me, broke into a little jig, followed by his interpretation of Swan Lake at top speed in a freezer! He climbed into his mother's freezer with his little eukalale and proceeded to soft shoe tap all over the farmer sausage and the frozen peas!! By the time he was done, bless his pointy little head, he had caught a cold and had to get Jeanette to pick him up, sling him over her shoulders and cart him off for hot soup and to bed. Loved the dance routine though!

So you see, Winnipeg is such a wonferful city! There is so much love there! I always look forward to seeing what sorts of greetings await me, like when Rita set herself in a large bowl of lime jello in the fridge for five hours! And then there was the picnic on the hill in Steinbach with Siegfried in lederhosen and the gaggle of wombats running around loose! But that is for another time.

MOI