Retreat! RETREEEEEEEEET 2009!!!

So, we did it again! We retreat! RETREEEEEEET-ED!!!! for yet another summer! This however was the first year that the retreat was turned outside-IN!!!!

We all zwiddled desperately there at around 6:00PM, bringing our assorted accoutrements (tents, food, peanut butter, teddy bears, toothbrushes, rubber duckies, whisks, and a toilet plunger!) and placed them in the centre of the living room, so that we could have dinner. Patrick (a.k.a. Paulie-Frumpyfinns) made enchiladas (with the help of MOI) and they were good! We all ate until we were full! Seeing that it has just rained, we decided to spend the first night indoors. We figured we would set the tents up in the morning, when the sun will be smiling down upon us and the nymphs and shepherds would swoop down from the lofty births to sing and play amongst us.

During the evening, I kept feeling something like sand falling upon my head. I was soon to find out that Cleopas was trying to season me again! You see, he tried to convince me that he managed to find a whale-sized cauldron. I knew he was lying because I checked and they were fresh out of them!!!! He was just jealous because I managed to find whisks his size (those I brought with me), the ones he said I would never find.

After chatting and catching up, we all settled in up and downstairs (girls up, guys down) for the night. Then I saw a sight that did not really shock me at all. Cleopas, thinking we were all asleep, slipped out the back door and into the garage! I thought to myself, this MUST be interesting! I snuck behind him to find that he was heading into a bag, where he pulled out what looked like a unitard and a pair of wings!!! He squeezed his way into them, after slathering himself generously with lard and literally flitted into the trees where he proceeded to buzz the night away in conducting the nymph and shepherd Mennonite chorale!!! I would not have believed it if I did not see it...wait a minute. Knowing me, I would have!!!!!

As the sun rose of Saturday morning, I sprung out of my slumber to find that I was not alone! For Siegmund was up and flitting about too!!! I shot out of bed and in a full split, singing "DICH TEURE HALLE!!!!" in the soprano range!!! I flung myself upstairs to find the girls in various forms of sleep: Yippee was awake and reading while adorably curled into her shrimp cocktail impression. Jeanette was snoozing away, calming sleeping like an infant, and Rita...well, Rita's mouth was wide open, drooling like a fish and dressed like a cherry popsickle! Jeanette got up to make breakfast and, at the smell of the eggs, Rita, while still asleep and drooling, lightly floated up (suspended from terra firma of course) and instinctively followed the scent of the food and sat at the table. Then, she woke up! And then the rest was chaos! Rita shot like a bolt of lightning to get her magic bullet! She is now into blended food! She basically DRANK all her food! Into the blender, she put eggs, toast, milk, oranges, jam, peanut brittle and treebark and gobbled it down through a straw, while the rest of us ate real food! Then, for kicks, she beat up Dieter and held him down and gave him piggies, much to my glee! Cleopas, returning secretly from his night of buzzing tried to look as normal as possible but forgot that he had pixie dust in his hair still.

So where was Paulie-Frumpyfinns at this point you might ask? Well, he was with his lumpty-dumm-dumms, Kee-Kee Kicklesqueals! He spent the night at her parents' home WITH her parents!!!! Just to clarify there... He came flittering in without his feet touching the ground once. He wreaked of hearts!!! Everywhere he went, he had little red hearts oozing from his corpus! I know that that cannot be good for the environment!!!

We spent part of the day in a park. We rolled Rita down the hill at least thrice, and played ring-aound-the-rosie a few times. We took pictures of us jumping around some trees and watched Dieter zwiddle desperately around the park after consuming the equivalent of five large coke slurpees!!! In fact his brothers were able to harness him to the front of their car and made him pull them all back to where we were staying to save on gas. And he did! He even got a ticket for speeding!!!

As soon as we got home, I was in the kitchen cooking up a storm! I made one of my desperately moist chocolate cakes and got started on dinner. I basically kept the kitchen hopping because the more I did, the less anyone thought about eating me, especially Cleopas!!! I could always tell when he was hungry. He'd look at me longingly and drool!!! So I cooked until I was silly!!! Once everyone was fed, we got to a point in the evening when we felt too lazy to set up the tents, so we decided to sleep IN again!!! So that is where the retreat turned outside-IN!!!

Sunday! Again, I was up scaring the birds out of their eggs!!! This time, I thought of a soothing song to sing, like, "HOJOTOHOJO!!!!!!" As I fell up the flight of steps (yes! Fell UP!), I ran smack into Mrs. K., who was up with Mr. K. preparing a delicious waffle breakfast for us all! We ate until we were senseless again! And then we went to church, like good little boys and girls. Rita wore her frilly girly dress with a pair of boxing gloves, and Cleopas wore his favourite cape. Mervin wore his little beanie with the propellor on top,and nothing else!!!! Needless to say I had to fix that immediately (I am now in therapy after such a sight!!). We had a great time. After church we all skipped daintily BACH home where we basically packed up and thus, ended another (and possibly our last) RETREAT! RETREEEEEEEEEEET!!!!!

Sad it was. I wept bitterly almost all the way home. Ask Mervin. He just sat there and watched me cry-drive, and then proceeded to fall asleep with mouth agape in the midst of my spilling my guts and bosoms all over the road!!! The nerve!!!

So there you have it! And that is EXACTLY how it all went up!

MOI