And as per typicule, it tickles me senseless whenever those of us from the Faculty can get together in a sort of reunion. Unfortunately, we did not have a RETREAT! RETREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAT!!!!!! this year, but whenever we have seen each other, it is as if we were never apart! Case in point, last night!
I gave a free concert last night at Knox United Church to promote my new CD, "Sound an Alarm!" http://www.cdbaby.com/williamsonsmyth and to raise funds for the church. It was so good to see Cleopas, Jeanette, Percy and Desiree, and Keisha. Just as I was about to sing, I saw a beam of light wash over the sanctuary, and I realized that a very glowing, and yet again, obviously pregnant Rossweisse had entered the room, practically floating, as if she was being wafted by little cherubs to her seat. And sitting next to her was Arnold, who I was so tickled to see come after what he has been through recently.
Just as I opened my mouth to sing, about one-third of the audience reached into their satchels, and threw apples, aimed supposedly at my mouth! One of them landed in there. So I figured, "Oh how sweet! They want to feed me again!" So I ate (pronounced 'ETTE') the apple and then began singing. Then, they all reached into their satchels again and pulled out what looked like serviettes, cutlery, crockery, spices, trussing cord, and, peanut butter?? It became apparent to me that this was NOT going to go down well! I got the impression that they all responded to my advertising campaign, where I had to stand in the street, and show some ham-hock, and shake my back bacon just to put the scent in the air to attract them to attend my concert. It backfired!!! They thought they were all coming to DINNER!!!!
Fortunately for me, I got the idea from a very annoying person on facebook (thank you!) to come prepared! I swung by a farming tools store and got myself two rather large, high capacity cattle prods, with holsters!!! And I made sure that they were strapped to my corpus and in view of the audience. As they rose from their seats to attempt to truss me to the spit they wheeled in the front door, I quickly whipped out the prods and knocked them together to show I meant business! And, I had the good sense to lock the choir entrance door in the back so that they could not grab me from behind and haul me away!!!
And with that, they sat back down, staring at me rather longingly, with drool dribbling down their chins, and realized that they'd have to settle for cookies and soda instead! All in all, it was a good evening, and I did manage to sell some CDs! The only thing I worry about now is when they listen to my CD they may associate it's music with dinner time! I'll be gone in a week, so I'll just have to keep looking over my shoulder round to make sure no one is nibbling away at any part of me. I thought being popular would be wonderful, but this is ridiculous!!!!
MOI
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