Queen Street West

Today, as I was flubbling mercilessly west on Queen Street, and while I was in mid-zwiddle, two things hit me! The first was how artistic this neck of the woods was, and also, how old I am getting!

I remember that there was a time when the only forms of communication were either by rotary phone (dark ages), talking, and letter writing. I even remember when I sent my first electronic letter (as it was called back them), and then, my first e-mail. I was already an adult!!! But we are not here to discuss my age...I digress.

Queen Street West is filled to bursting with those of the artistic persuasion. The people here range from wanting to express themselves loudly for the whole world to see (like skinny jeans and goth make-up and leather-bound drag queens) to those would are very "innig" with their emotions and stir up all their subconsciousnesses with a stick! I thought I had seen it all, but no fear! Was I in for a rude awakening today! As I hurridly blithered hither and thither going west, there were those that were selling their wares, which included things like artwork, themselves, or showing off a particular skill. I lost count of how many adam's apples I saw, and their bearers had absolutely NO SPLIT ENDS at all in their hair.

Eventually, I climbed into a street car and had the desperate misfortune of having a man who was drunk out of his mind sit behind me and tell me how much he hates Jamaicans, and anyone who is not white and English-speaking. Then there was the lady who was so miserable and scared of missing her stop. Personally, I think she was constipated!

Gone are the days when people used to stop to talk on the street corners. Nowadays, they will knock you out fo the way if you tried that. One has to practically DIE to get attention! And that reminds me...EVERYBODY from the cradle to the grave and all and sundry in betwixt has a cellphone as an appendage!!!! They just cannot function without it!

As I arrived at my destination, I felt like I was ready to kiss the ground and squeal in glee, "LAAAAAAAND!". I was so relieved to be there, and inside, and safe. I met up with a dear friend for her birthday, along with some mutual friends and collegues.

After the festivity was over, I skipped daintily unto a streetcar and headed to the subway. Just as I thought I has seen enough weirdness for one day, another anomaly pops up! There was a guy on the subway, dressed in a PINK minidress, in pink pepto-bismol piggies, hosery, and a pair of fairywings on it's back! I saw that and was struck by a sudden case of indigestion!

But now, I am home and safe. I just have to check under the bed for boogy monsters before going to sleep.

MOI

What would REALLY happen if...

1. Pigs really could fly?

2. I gave up the fight to keep from being eaten?

3. The whole world decided to be good for one hour?

4. Madonna became a devout nun??

5. Tarzan never met Jane?

6. There were no tenors?

7. Every opera singer were a tenor?

8. Men were able to give birth?

9. Lady bosses wore 'piggies' (a.k.a. pigtails) to work?

10. You laughed and danced in a traditional Mennonite church?

11. Cows, goats, pigs, sheep, etc. gleefully offered up themselves for slaughter?

12. The sun went on strike, or decide to be a diva and NOT show up on time?

13. I was made entirely out of Swiss chocolate???

14. I inhaled a whole plate of brownies and my personal trainer caught me in the act??

15. Usain Bolt had started his victory dance AFTER he crossed the finish line?!

16. We all could fly?

17. All the women in the world went on strike?

18. Money grew on trees?

And finally...

19. You took time out of your day to stop and smell at least one flower?

Moi